Icicles hang translucent and glassy, temporary stalactites waiting for their moment to melt. The trees are weighed down by snow and the irony of something that at its microscopic level, is so small and light, could bring down a solid and deeply rooted tree, makes me smile. There is undeniable beauty in winter if it were not only the eyes experiencing it. Unfortunately the winter lodges itself deep inside my bones, the cold manifesting debilitating affliction. Everything is harder. One must work harder to stay warm, struggle to maintain an amiable disposition when the body is starved of sunlight, struggle to not allow winter have its way with everything. For me, it is an all-consuming fight. I smile again when I think of that tiny flake of frozen water and the trouble it makes. Troublesome beauty. I laugh! Oh the lessons God always teaches through the winters that fall silently on a mind that is so dark with negativity and loathsome self-pity. How a tiny cell, that was beautifully made to keep me healthy, wreaks havoc when accumulated. How one tiny missing protein can manifest such misery. I close my eyes and hold back the tears. Where is the beauty? As the winter allows nature to rest and recuperate and emerge better and stronger, are these loathsome afflictions preparing me for a new season where a more spiritually beautified version of me emerges? I try to embrace the suffering and imagine that inside of my soul lies a stunningly beautiful landscape that will reflect such light despite the undeniable suffering. I wait with you winter.